The cycle of violence is a model developed to explain the complexity and co-existence of abuse with loving behaviors. It helps those who have never experienced domestic violence understand that breaking the cycle of violence is much more complicated than just “getting out” or leaving.

There are three phases in the cycle of violence: (1) Tension-Building Phase, (2) Acute or Crisis Phase, and (3) Calm or Honeymoon Phase. Without intervention, the frequency and severity of the abuse tends to increase over time.

Over a period of time there may be changes to the cycle. The honeymoon phase may become shorter, and the tension and violence may increase. Some victims report that they never experience an apologetic or loving abuser, but simply see a decrease in tension before the start of a new cycle.

As the cycle starts, the victim starts going in and out of the relationship. It often takes many attempts to make a final decision to leave for good. Feelings of guilt, insecurity, and concern for children’s well-being play a strong role in the victim’s decision-making process.

The cycle of violence is a tool developed by researcher Lenore Walker and detailed in her book, The Battered Woman, published 1979. Walker created this tool to describe the cyclical nature of battering and its effect on victims.